… cos I've got a shirt with a tiger (see how I styled it the last time I wore it)… insert additional Katy Perry lyrics here: …..
Anyway, today what I want to talk about is living off of an overseas military base. When I got here, I had no idea what living or working with the military would be like, and I have to say, I'm really not thrilled with it. Last weekend, I attended a function where I was the ONLY unmarried, childless, non-pregnant chick and let me tell you, I felt like I must have had a big black spot on my forehead the way I managed to stand out… or perhaps just not fit in.
The spouses don't really ever seem to have much to say to me. Granted, a lot of the time, conversations are about childbirth, strollers, diaper services, things that do not yet apply to my life, etc., but really… we're all girls. I get that I'm not a part of the married club, but puh-lease! I'm a nice girl and I just want to connect with other human beings.
I like to hang out with the kids, but I do that at work, and sometimes need to interact with grownups, which leaves me with the husbands. Most of my friends back in Chicago are dudes (unmarried, dudes, but dudes nonetheless), so I'm used to belching, chats about strip clubs, and the never-ending spew of sports scores and though I don't love it, the dudes tend not box me out… until their wives steer them away and I end up in a corner… Instagramming… cos that's how it usually goes.
I guess my beef is with the fact that we're all humans. None of us are in high school. I get that people may not like me just on principle, but (ROAR) BE FRIENDLY! I gave up all of my friends, the comforts of my home, sold most of my stuff, and here I am in a strange country where, try as I might, I cannot grasp the language, I spend 80% of the week with 3-year olds, and I just want to connect with people! Just 'cos I don't have a giant diamond sparkler on my left hand, a bun in the oven, or a munchkin of my own does not mean that I'm weird, diseased, contagious, etc.
Ok… done roaring. I feel much better. Time for a catnap!
Shirt vintage (from Soldier Boy's closet)
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Oh my I totally understand it! It's like when girls get married and get children, they create this "circle" around themselves and shut down everyone who don't belong into that circle .. I hope I won't become one of those! :D But girl, if it comforts - you look good as hell! :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
WWW.ZERXZASTYLE.BLOGSPOT.COM
Yeah, I'm taking note of how this feels so if I ever get married or have kids I won't exclude other ladies who aren't in the same boat!
DeleteThat's too bad about the whole situation on base. It's always hard being a newcomer in a group that's predominantly made up of one group.
ReplyDeleteI really love your headscarf, though!
XxMO
madame-ostrich.com
It is frustrating! I can tell you that with absolute certainty!
DeleteThanks!
Love this outfit, you look wonderful you always do!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gen!
DeleteLove the white vest and the cute watch! Yeah, the German don't strike me as very friendly in general :) Hope you make some friends outside the base soon that you can just have fun with ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm talking about Americans, though! Crazy, right?
DeleteWow! What a story - I hope your new home is getting more comfortable and hope the married mob will talk to you more, I would! Two of my closest friends just left to the military, granted as well I have lots of guy friends, so I understand having to relate to other women sometimes! None the less your outfit rocks! Makes me want to pull out my favorite oversized t-shirt!
ReplyDeletexo
thedeathlyfashion.blogspot.com
Thank you! I don't know why some girls are just so hard to get along with or be accepted by! I want to be friends with everyone. I don't care how young, old, weird you are! If you're nice, I want to hang out with you! If only more people felt this way.
DeleteI hate how these milestones seem to create their own cliques. I'm in the married-but-childless point in my life where friends and family are off having babies and that now encompasses their lives. I get how exciting it is in this moment for them, but sometimes I just want to talk about celebrity gossip and shopping for things other than strollers and high chairs! It's the same yet so different for you since you also have a language barrier. But I hope things get a little more comfortable and friendly for you soon. For the record, I'd totally let you in my circle! :)
ReplyDeleteFor real! And heck… sometimes I want to twerk on a tabletop with my tongue out a la Miley Cyrus… really… so can we please stop discussing what color your son's poop was the last time he got sick?
DeleteLOL you are too funny! But I can relate. Although I am married and have more than enough kids I still tend to enjoy the guys better. Maybe because I grew up with all brothers? But the "mom" talk can be sickening. I don't care how smart and wonderful your kid is, so is mine. Can we talk about shoes or something once in a while! I always leave the girl table and go outside w the men to stand around the fire and do shots!
ReplyDeleteSeriously! Shots around a fire totally work for me!
DeleteLove your outfit.
ReplyDeleteitsaleyna.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you!
DeleteLOVE this outfit!
ReplyDeleteugh, I kind understand what you mean. sometime around the mid to end twenties, early thirties, some of my friends got married and had kids and ever since then all parties start at noon with a horde of toddlers running around and the women can only talk about their kid's digestion.
ReplyDeletedon't let them annoy you, I'm sure you are tons of fun to be around and these women don't know what they are missing!
xx, eve
http://melandeve.com
Right? For as much good advice that I pick up on during these gatherings, sometimes I really just want to talk about how weird Kim Kardashian's latest Instagram selfie is!
DeleteOh it's a toughie... but girl you are no wuss.. I can see that.. keep going! Win them over with your charm!! Host a clothing swap night! Or "ladies cocktail hour night" I find that bonding over fashion or the need to get out of the house is a total lifesaver and you'll never go wrong with trying to be interested in others.. however I do fully understand how difficult it could be, I moved to CA to be with my fiance without having any friends or family... new job, new home and planning our wedding.. it didn't get easier after that... probably one of the hardest years of my life.. however it did change and it will for you... so sorry that it's been rough.. You look amazing and hopefully you'll find a friend really soon! Cheers girl! You rock!
ReplyDeleteHope
hchdesigns.blogspot.com
Shiz is crazy up in here! I have had some of the wives tell me they want to dress better and need help… I was working as a personal stylist in the states, but maybe I'll have to host a styling night or something along those lines!
DeleteI always love your photos, you always look so happy! :D
ReplyDeletexx MJ
http://shopaholic-thoughts.blogspot.pt/
I try!
DeleteI'm sorry it's being so tough, especially with the military wives. German is not one of the easiest languages in the world and I found that not all the Germans were too friendly at first. Hang in there, I'm sure things will get better and you seem such a nice person to want to get to know. Great outfit.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
Thank you!
DeleteLOVE this outfit!
ReplyDeleteEven though it's been tough I'm sure greater things will happen and you will find your niche!
xo, Delightful Sunflower
I'll keep trying! Thank you!
DeleteI can understand you doll....it's how I feel a lot of the times. Even now, when I am married and have two girls, the mothers still don't talk to me much, I'm far different from them. I don't like talking about birth, feeding and all that mumsy boring stuff, when I'm around girls, I want to be a girl and talk about girly things, but they rather moan and complain about their lives, sad. So, I just hang with the kids :)) I hope it'll get better for you :)) You look fantastic xx
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is sometimes tough to be the blue fish among a sea of red fish (or something like that)… one of these days, I'll probably just end up starting a commune so all the weirdos can live in harmony away from the cold cruel world! Te he!
DeleteLove these images and your outfit :) Have you tried bonding with those women via your blog?
ReplyDeletewww.anamiblog.com
I have, but I think it is perceived as a threat more than anything. I'll wear something and someone will ask where I got it and I'll say through a blog sponsor and then they want to know about the blog, but when they hear about the perks, it's a friendship turn off! Sad face!
DeletePerfection as always
ReplyDeleteADDICT BE ICONIC BLOG
Gracias!
DeleteI'm so sorry babe, but patience is key. And I really do believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder (and stronger). :-) Have faith! You look lovely in these photos also!
ReplyDeletexx
Janice
http://janicethitran.com
Thank you!
DeleteMaybe there a little 'peanut butter & jealous...' I mean you are pretty fricken gorgeous and dress like a bohemian princess. Whatevs. Haters gonna hate, just don't let their behavior impact how you feel about yourself cause you're fabulous! I was a military brat, just pondering (even though I'm sure I've read this) where are you and what work are you doing?
ReplyDeleteStay Fab, Love!
xoxo
Erica
boltsandarrows.blogspot.com
I work on Ramstein Air Base in Germany. Soldier Boy is stationed here, but I moved out over the summer when he returned from deployment and have been teaching dance and gymnastics on base. I'm totally off my career path and am lonely out here… but you called me a bohemian princess, which is definitely making things a bit better!
DeleteGah - girls are the worst - esp when they think they are in "the club" - the wifey club, the mommy club, the prego club etc... so you're automatically the outsider then couple that with being pretty and you're doomed lol - girls don't like pretty girls esp when they are single, stretch-mark, and leaky boob-free pretty girls - just keep trying and being nice - maybe try coming out with it - like we should totally do a girls night I know I'm the single kidless one but I still like wine and chick flicks blah blah blah if they are nice girls worth being friends with they will bite - if not you don't want to be friends with them anyway - any meet up groups for expats in your area?
ReplyDeleteYeah… I really should get on this! I've discovered, since posting this, that there is a huge online community via Facebook… I think if I make my own group, I might be able to find a few more people in my same boat! Other than that, it's CouchSurfers all the way to find me some locals!
DeleteThis is cool!
ReplyDeletehttp://berrytrendy.com/
I love the pictures! I definitely agree with you. I've been in situations when people just exclude me because I'm young, unmarried, and don't have children. That was the case when I worked with only 40+ year-olds. I literally would eat lunch by myself because everyone was in their little clique, it was like high school but even worse because these are adults and you would think that they know better. I hope things get better for you!
ReplyDeleteLaura
www.lauraneuzeth.com
Yeah… that's kind of how it is… I don't like not fitting into a box of any type out here! I feel like there should be a course in high school called "Being a Kind Human Being 101."
DeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteYou'd think there'd be kindship of sorts… I mean, we all live in a strange country and have dudes who are periodically shipped out to the middle of nowhere to do things that they can't talk about… but I guess that is kind of how so many of the cliques have ended up forming in the first place… the married/childless group, the bun-in-the-oven group, the I-keep-having-kids group, etc. I need to find more loners and make a we're-not-married-or-preggo group!
ReplyDeleteI love this look <3
ReplyDeleteYou're beautiful :)
http://nuagedemoutons.blogspot.fr/2014/01/j12-beyond-reality.html
I always wondered what it must be like to be living on base. Didn't realize the other ladies would be so unfriendly. Kind of weird since everyone is sort of in the same circle (aka away from the states and in a strange country). I would think that being away from America would bring everyone closer. Guess not! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAileen
Sex w. Candy