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Let go...

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Perhaps its because I've just left a wonderful restorative yoga class, but the thought on my mind right now is: let go. 

Years and years ago, I thought that my life was set.  I was in grad school, loved my job, and thought I was going to settle down with the love of my life.  Suffice it to say that it didn't happen and even though things ended years ago, it's been tough to let go.  News came to me that my former love got married last weekend and while I knew it was coming, it kind of ripped another hole in my heart.  I brooded about it for the last few days and mourned what is truly the end of what I'd once built up in my head as the perfect vision of my future.  And tonight, I decided to let it go.  

As I matched my breath to the careful and deliberate movements, I let my mind wander down old paths and recall memories of a relationship that has long been over.  I tried to take away the happy feelings that accompanied the memories when they happened in real life.  I allowed them to briefly stir my heart as I realized that the person who once meant so much to me now means so much to someone else.  I thought about the last time I left his house, the sad look on his face as he closed the door... and like the wind blowing through the beautiful scarf in these photos, I allowed the feelings to ripple through me and then I let go. 

I do write this with a few small tears in my eyes (which may be due to allergies...), but I don't think they are tears of sadness.  I think that they are tears of release.  It feels good to finally set down the emotional baggage I've been saddled with for at least half a decade, because now I know that he's taken care of and I can move forward into a future that may be better suited for me.  

What's sustainable about this outfit?  
: this scarf is fair trade and was block printed and dyed in flowers, fruit skins, and vegetables by hand
: these earrings are fair trader and were made from melted down artillery shells
: the leggings were handed down from my mum
: all of the bracelets were hand made and most of them are also fair trade (one was made from recycled saris)

2 comments on "Let go... "
  1. Lovely, reflective post. It can often be difficult not to dwell on the "what ifs" of life! xxx
    www.justemma.co.uk - natural beauty, affordable fashion, everyday life

  2. What a thoughtful post my dear, I really enjoyed reading it.