Feelin' good on a Wednesday... (Ever seen that episode of "South Park?" I'm almost ashamed to admit that I have... but it's a cartoon... and it's politically funny, sooooo....). After a few weeks of mucking through trying to write curriculum and re-invent the wheel, today I was lucky enough to get a brief reprieve and went to a training. Usually, these work trainings are cheesy and overwhelming and are hard to pay attention to, but today was actually kind of awesome.
It's always nice to get a surprise like that.
At my last training, all of the speakers shared memories from their first year of teaching. Many of them centered on how as young teachers, they started their first years thinking that they knew everything. I'm the total opposite. I walked in knowing that I knew very little and would require lots of support to do my job well. I've really been feeling clueless lately and have even let a few tears slip out over the course of the week, but after my training today, we had open house and I got some seriously awesome feedback from the parents who came.
Apparently, I do have a clue! Who knew?
Feeling like you don't have a clue what you're doing is definitely one of the worst feelings to encounter. Especially when you're in your position where you'd want to know what you're sing because others depend on it. But we can be so hard on ourselves sometimes that we end up pushing ourselves to tears and I'm sorry that happened to you. But I hope from the open day that you'll remember that even if it doesn't feel like you know what you're doing most times, someone appreciates that you care enough to try ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this lovely and personal post, and as always you look FABULOUS!!!
It's so unsettling! I keep trying to step back and look at things a bit more openly. I can already see my students making progress and doing things that they either couldn't or wouldn't do a few weeks ago, so I suppose that's a good sign!
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